No reason to beat around the bush. This post really has nothing to do with my bucket list. Instead it has to do with something that is way more cool but in a different way. Today’s post is about elaborate pranks.
While writing my last post, I was having a really hard time finding a personal photo that had to do with decluttering. The best I could find was a bunch of suitcases stacked up in Chile and my old college room filled with packing peanuts. This put a huge smile on my face and inspired this post. Above all else, the best way to get me into my zone is to get me obsessed with a hairy logistical event. (Not literally) Be it figuring out how to get a second passport or how not to die when I unexpectedly found myself in Belize, I freaking love it. Strange logistics are my version of crack.
Cue transition back to original point of blog post.
Back in college I lived in an awesome fraternity. I shared a house with about 60 other totally awesome guys (and some one named Kevin) and found myself with a lot of time on my hands.
Tin Foil Revenge
One day I returned to home after a particularly long day of classes. All I wanted to do was crash and not think about anything until the next morning. Upon entering my room I was greeted by finding my mattress had gone missing and the snickering of my roommate Hunter.
To say Hunter is a character is like describing a whale as just a really big fish. It is technically true but it leaves out some important details. Hunter is best explained by sharing stories about him.
I was once with him when he got Canadian SWAT called on him after he locked himself out of his hotel room and decided the best option to get back in was to climb the five floors on the outside of the downtown hotel to get through the balcony. (It worked!) He has a really weird ability to turn strange ideas into reality. My favorite memory of Hunter was when he somehow convinced about a dozen of the sorority girls who were living next door to us to come to his private night club (it was our bedroom). Somehow his stupid plan/pick-up line worked and we ended up charging one of our friends cover to get in :-)
My least favorite memory of Hunter was that night I got home to my mattress-less bed. Hunter and I used to share a three story bunk bed. (Different bunks in case you had the wrong visual). It was clear he was the culprit.
I vowed merciless revenge.
It was close to Christmas and being Jewish I had an entire day in the building without anyone to bother me. (Its lonely being a Jew on Christmas!) I don’t remember where I got the idea but I went out to the only place that was open (a Fred Meyer in the next city over) and bought as much tin foil as I could afford. I then spent the next 12 hours tin foiling every surface of our room. I mean that literally. Every item in every drawer, every shirt on every hanger and walls, ceiling and floor got the reflective treatment. (Well everything except for the American Flag of course. Who do you think I am?) It was my Mona Lisa… although much shinier.
My friend Ian found me the next day passed out in a tin foil covered bed and pointed out that the room looked like the inside of an easy-bake oven. I was too tired to agree :-)
The results of my labor were fantastic.
Several months later, Hunter got me back by duct taping everything I owned to the ceiling of our night club/bedroom. Once again, I vowed merciless revenge. This time I was going to bring out the big guns.
Packing Peanut Hell
I searched the whole Puget Sound area for a place to buy thousands and thousands of packing peanuts. I spent about a three weeks looking (shipping supply stores were cost prohibitive) and eventually found a organic grocer who felt bad throwing away the packing peanuts that came with their shipping orders. They offered me the peanuts for free but it was only one bag a week. No problem I thought, I have time.
I went back to the grocer, which was about 30 minutes away by car, and picked up a bag every week for about a year. I’d drive to the grocer, pick up the bags, drive to my parents house, drop off the bag in my old room and have dinner with my folks.
Eventually my room at my parents house couldn’t fit any more bags. It was time.
I rented a U-haul and filled my friend Pat in on the plan. We went to my parent’s house and filled the truck.
My time had come.
I waited for Hunter to go take a shower and Pat and I quickly ran from the U-haul to the bedroom holding as many bags as we could. Other brothers in the fraternity saw what was happening and without asking questions joined in. We tore open the bags and filled Hunter’s room.
Hunter heard the commotion and caught us just as we were bringing up the last few bags. He was too late. He spent the next several months picking packing peanuts out of everything he owned. :-)
Like I said, I really like elaborate pranks :-)